(217):
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
(902):
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a “half-zombie” and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
(203):
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
(703):
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
(617):
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn’t true love I don’t know what is.
(304):
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states…he’s either drunk or he loves me
(203):
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
(425):
I am thankful for thumbs.

(425):
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.


(425):
Land dolphins.
(514):
please come upstairs a drunk asian guy is lying down in the middle of my room and i don’t know him

(514):

please come upstairs a drunk asian guy is lying down in the middle of my room and i don’t know him